I’ve been getting a lot better at going shopping lately. I used to be completely unable to go clothes shopping on my own and even if I went with a family member, I’d be on the verge of having a panic attack. Now I can go shopping on my own without too much bother. I still sometimes feel quite anxious when I first get there but it usually wears off after a while. Shopping is one area that I’ve improved so much with. I’m amazed how much I’ve managed to reduce my shopping anxiety over the last few months.
I went shopping a couple of weekends ago to get clothes for work experience and also university. I hardly felt anxious at all on the Friday, and even managed to tell a member of staff about a pair of jeans that had been given the wrong size tag. On Saturday, I decided that I really wanted to challenge my SA, so I went shopping again…in Princes Street…on a (sunny and warm) Saturday afternoon…on pay day…on the last day of the festival. It was very, very busy indeed. I was rather anxious in the first shop that I went to, especially to begin with, because of how busy it was, but it wasn’t so bad that I had the urge to escape from the situation. If I’d tried going into such a busy shop on my own even 6 months ago, I probably would’ve freaked out, had a panic attack and left. It’s great that I can actually do these things now. In the same shop, I also made a bit of an idiot of myself when I took the wrong basket after coming out of the fitting rooms, because it had almost all of the same clothes that my basket did. I didn’t notice that it belonged to someone else until about 5 minutes later. In the past, I probably would have panicked and left the shop because I’d have felt far too stupid and ashamed to go back and admit my mistake. This time, however, I went back, told the fitting room assistant what had happened, returned the basket, and got my own one. I felt a bit stupid about it, but I suppose I’m also proud of myself for doing something that made me feel so anxious. I’ve generally gotten better at talking to shop assistants, bus drivers, etc. lately. I’ve generally been feeling more confident in that respect than I used to.
It seems strange to me that even though I achieved quite a lot lately, I still spend most of my time feeling like I’m never going to get better. I suppose I just have to keep reminding myself of what I HAVE achieved, and hopefully I will continue to achieve more and overcome my fears.