First Job

First of all, I’d like to apologise to the people who have messaged me or commented on my blog over the last couple of weeks and haven’t gotten a reply yet. I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed with the uni workload at the moment and haven’t really had time to get around to replying yet. Sorry for the wait. I’ll get back to you when I can.

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I went along to the job interview last week and it really wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was really informal and they actually didn’t ask me anything other than about personal information. So I now have a job for the two and a half weeks leading up to Christmas. Yay! I’d obviously prefer something that’s not just for a couple of weeks, but I don’t think I could handle a job while at uni, despite having gone part-time. I don’t understand how people can work while full-time at uni. But then again, they probably have good time management skills and don’t get completely lost in the detail when doing coursework. My time management skills are absolutely dire. Anyway…the Christmas job is a start. It’ll be my first paid job, which does make me feel somewhat useless, given that I’m 19 and there are loads of people who have been working since they were 16. I’m hoping that it won’t be too bad in terms of anxiety. Someone from the SA meet up group worked there once and said that it was okay.

The morning of the job interview was the first (and only, so far) time that I’d taken propranolol. I only took 20mg but it did seem to help quite a lot. Feeling anxious but not shaking or having your heart pounding is the weirdest thing for me. I’m almost able to trick myself into thinking that I’m not really anxious. The only problem was that it made me a bit bradycardic even with a low dose, and I had some mild chest pain at random moments, which is a bit worrying. It also seemed to make my pulse a bit irregular. I’m hoping that when I take a higher dose (either 40mg or 60mg altogether), I won’t get any unbearable side effects. My presentation is on Wednesday and quite frankly I am shitting myself. I think I would honestly rather face the firing squad than do this presentation. Public speaking is my biggest fear. I’m hoping that the propranolol will stave off a panic attack but it’s very hard to imagine not having a panic attack in that situation.

I’ve got quite a lot of catch up writing to do – particularly about the residential field trip and people at uni – if I ever find the time.

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2 Responses to First Job

  1. Laura Jay says:

    Congratulations on the job! It doesn’t matter that its only for a couple of weeks, it’ll still get you some money and will definitely give you good experience (for both your anxiety and future employers). Hope it goes well, all the best 🙂

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