Temporary Job

After applying for a temporary retail job a few weeks ago, I was contacted by phone and asked to do a phone interview right there and then. I did have some advance warning of this in the form of an email to say that they would be phoning me, and my sister had applied for the same job and already been through the phone interview, but I was still terrified. I stumbled over my words so badly and couldn’t verbalise what I actually wanted to say. I thought that there was no way I would get the job but they contacted me back the next day to say I had. It’s only for 2 days to help with a sale (I’ll mostly just be pricing and tagging things), but it’s better than nothing. My sister started working there on Monday. I don’t know if she’s working more shifts than me because she was a lot more confident and friendly on the phone, or whether it’s because she applied for this job earlier than I did. I wish I could’ve worked the extra shifts as well because I need the money, but from what she’s said, it sounds like one of the managers was really rude to everyone working there on Monday and expected them to know everything without being told, so I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with that. I hope they won’t be like that towards me or any of the other people who start working there today.

I had to go along to an induction a couple of weeks ago, to be shown around the place and to be taken through some basic health and safety. The manager who was showing us around gave us the forms that the people interviewing us had used to help them decide whether or not we would get the job (see below). I’m really surprised that I got a tick for the three points on the left, as well as for “shows enthusiasm in tone and answers”. I’m equally surprised that I got no ticks for any of the ‘negative indicators’. I can only conclude that the interviewer must have been drunk at the time.

positive indicators

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There were only six other people in my induction group but I felt so anxious the entire time that I couldn’t really take in anything we were told, and I can’t remember most of it. Curse my anxiety! Even just having to be around the other people in that small group made me ridiculously anxious. I don’t know how I’m going to cope on the sale day, when the shop will be mobbed with customers.

Aside from the fact that I will probably have to help customers on the sale day (which makes me very anxious), what I’m really worried about is the dress code. We’ve been told to wear comfortable clothes tonight because we won’t be on the shop floor and will just be tagging and pricing things, but we’ve each been given a short-sleeved t-shirt to wear on the sale day. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I certainly do not want everyone to see my scars. I may see if I can get away with wearing a plain long-sleeved t-shirt underneath but I’m worried that I won’t. Someone who was in my group on the induction day had a tubigrip around her wrist and forearm because she said she’d sprained her wrist. I suppose I could put a bandage around my arm tomorrow, or I could put a large plaster over my most prominent scars and hope that no one notices the rest, but having a plaster on my arm would probably just draw more attention to it. I could just tell people that I fell off my bike or something. But I still worry that it’ll seem suspicious. I don’t know what to do.

I start my first of the two shifts at 8 o’ clock this evening. My sister is working different shifts to me so it’s not like I will have the comfort of having someone I’m not anxious around to work with. I just hope I can get through it without a panic attack.

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